Crinkle cut. Crinkle cut. Crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle crinkle I have a hat and I am named hat hate man. Hating hats is my specialty. I own a small business called "Big Hat Hatred" and I own a large piece of farmland and a large piece of alternative organic earth life death processed farmland.
While we're on the subject of processing and/or processes, I want to tell you something: I am really into processed cheese. It's so soft to the touch, and I can look at it all day. In fact, my tears are made of it. I cry soft cheese, kids!
Okay, now let's pretend my name is Wranchwro, and I work for a large facility called the Stank Bag Facility. We deal with Stanky-Ass issues, like pocket money, bank accounts--you know, the works. So here I am tonight to let you in on a little secret: I am a little man. I've always been a little man. Now, being a little man, I know a lot about little things. Things like pocket money, bank accounts--you know, the works. SO, here's the meat of the issue: I can't see because I am without eyes. And the reason I can't see is that I am so blind due to my lack of eyes. Now you know some things about me. I am with you, here in this room, tonight. And you know some things about me. But I can't learn about you because I am inside a machine right now. And because I have no eyes. Also, I am deaf. I also have no mouth and no internal organs. Thank you. *Repeated bowing, uproarious applause--you know, the works.*
Now let's talk smack: Woof! Woof woof woof! I'm a dog! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Call me crazy, but I like to wield shit. I've never been so happy as I have been while wielding a thing. Doesn't really matter what thing; I'll wield anything, from porkchops to wingbirds, headshops to waterfalls, I've got 'em all under my belt. I guess you could say I'm somewhat of a belt champion.
Milking is quite a thing. I have milked animals before, and I have always been left with a satisfied feeling of having milked something. It's a very specific feeling. If you have ever milked a thing you know what I'm talking about. Milk. Milking. Milk produced after having milked a thing. You know, the works.
Alright, enough about milking, on to salamanders. Salamanders are interesting creatures because they are the only ones with toes. Yes, that's right, believe it or not, I have told you something about salamanders.
My toes itch. Chop them off.
This stage is a solid object. Feel that? That's a goddamn solid right there.
Feel my arms. Feel the muscles and sinews and even my goddamn nerves and tendons, watch my skin squish around and change colors and catch on fire, watch it burn, burn, burn, searing the night sky with fiery tendrils, explosions, battery jam blasts, hunks of molten steel, commas, spaces--you know, the works.
You punk bitch.
I ought to slap your head into a frying pan and fry your head up in that pan. Groaf.
